Coping with Breakup
When two or three of my friends tried coping with breakup because they got dumped by their girlfriends, I began to wonder why women dump men. Was there a major reason, or could it be attributed to the fickle nature of women. I went about my research methodically. In the first week of my research I interviewed about fifteen women. My list, which attempts to outline coping with breakup strategies, has now grown to over a hundred women I have asked the question: Why do women dump men?
Women Dump Men Because They Are Abusive
Abuse can be both mental and physical and the psychological damage is, in many cases, worse than the mental abuse. Physical abuse will mend. Mental abuse follows the person to the grave, particularly if the woman and her mate do not go through counseling. No matter how sincere in apologizing the man appears after a round of beating his wife, he is likely to revert to violent abuse later.
If the woman gets out of the relationship early she is lucky. Many women are afraid to leave; even worse, they become habituated to the pattern of abuse and apology. They begin thinking the abuse is their fault. The wise woman dumps them!
Women Dump Men Because They Persistently Lie
Men lie about all sorts of things: net worth, fidelity, alcohol or drug abuse, transmission of STD, a history of violence, criminal activity, their sexual identity, their marital history, their racial identity, their religious /spiritual practices. If she is lucky, the woman notes a pattern of lies early in the relationship. It is too easy to be lulled into a false sense of security foster by the habit of overlooking the man's lies.
Women Dump Men Because They Are Impotent
One woman put it bluntly: "I hate it when I get all steamed sexually and all he has to offer me is a limp noodle. Then he wants head and all sorts of extra curricula foreplay to arouse him. I might let him off the hook a couple of times; I know that thinking about performing can often be scary for men, but three strikes and they are out. I have my own needs.
Women Dump Men Because They Discover The Man Is Gay
"He never kisses me goodnight," said one woman. "I thought at first that he was just being a gentleman and not wanting to rush things. But when he did not make an advance after many dates I looked in the mirror to assure myself that I had not turned ugly overnight. Perhaps I was doing something that turned him off. I told my best girlfriend and she said, 'well, he is probably gay.' He revealed later that he was. I had dropped him by then. But now we are good friends."
Women Dump Men Because The Man Smells Bad
Even after he showers, the man smells like cheddar cheese, and if he also has the habit of avoiding showers, he becomes a substitute for Limburger. Often this sort of man will wear the same socks day after day. Perhaps he can afford a variety of socks, but is just too lazy to change socks. He also does not change his underwear. Get the picture?. His underarm stench is enough to explode the nostrils. Dump him.
Women Dump Men Because They Discover That They Are Cheating
First she notices that they length of time he is absent has begun to increase. His phone calls drop off in frequency. He begins to back out of dates. He even misses holidays. He has to be out of town on business. Business is always a good one. After all, he must work to buy you things and to save for a possible lifelong commitment you might have with him. But work is also a red flag. Then he begins to get sloppy in his subterfuge. How will he explain the claw marks on his back? How will he explain that his sport jacket smells like White Diamonds? Dump him while coping with breakup and be a winner!
Women Dump Men Because They Are Spineless
If he flinches every time a harsh word is spoken. If he backs down from every argument, if he gossips behind the backs of those he hates, but will not stand up to them face to face, then the woman will lose respect for him and eventually she will dump him. Some women go to extreme—that's for sure—they might provoke a fight between their mate and other men, but this is the exception. The woman usually does not try to provoke physical violence; she just wants to see her man stand up and be counted.
Women Dump Men Because They Cannot Manage Money
If the man throws his money away on gambling, on cars he can't afford, on exotic restaurants he can't afford and as she later discovers, on whores he can't afford, then his new found girlfriend is apt to dump him even if she does not know about his whores. If he is always broke, always borrowing money from her, claiming to pay her back but never does, then she is apt to dump him and rightfully so.
These are just some of the reasons women cited in the interview which explain why women dump men. There are many more, but they will be the subject of another essay. In the meantime, as you cope with breakup, I encourage you to reflect on the question: Why Do Women Dump Men?
