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Showing posts with label marriage problems. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage problems. Show all posts

Long Distance Relationship



Do you know there are ways to build trust in a long distance relationship? Often, what really makes a relationship work is not the things we think of at first blush. For instance, do you think you always need to spice things up? This concept is an error in thinking. Predictability is more important than variety in a relationship. The following seven methods are guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a long distance relationship.

First and foremost, you need to be quite predictable. This goes against the common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive. Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but most of all, we need things to be consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work. Consider that trust in a relationship is built on being reliable day in and day out.

You need to make sure that your words always match the message. This means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language. If you say you are happy but you are frowning, your partner doesn’t hear your words, he or she sees your face and the tone in your voice. It should go without saying that your partner needs to be able to trust what you are saying. When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Long Distance Relationship Requires Belief

You most certainly need to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency. If you don’t you won’t have the trust in a relationship that you need. When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive. When you do not believe that your partner is competent at some things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

In any case, please don’t keep secrets. Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship. Be honest and open. Assume everything you know will eventually come out. Secrets require enormous energy on your part. That is energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Do not be afraid to let your partner know what your needs are. Don’t make him or her guess what you need. Let them know. It is okay to be self-centered as long as you are not selfish. Indeed, if you are reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Long Distance Relationship Needs No For An Answer

Learn to say no and learn it now. When your partner voices his or her needs, meet those things as soon as possible. But you don’t need to say yes to everything. A partner cannot respect you if you never say no. Refusing to be subjugated to the other person’s will actually builds trust in a relationship.

Finally, always pursue growth. When you plant a flower, you begin by digging in the dirt. Digging in the dirt of our relationships can sometimes cause pain. But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth. Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions. These become the fertilizer for growth and change. You would do well to embrace what is difficult in your long distance relationship.

When you decide to work on trust in a relationship, you are bound to encounter a little pain. But, as you work through this pain, you will not only become stronger as an individual, you will also strengthen your long distance relationship.

Cheating Spouse



Coping with breakup and cheating spouse go to together like oats and honey. Unfortunately, it is possible that everyone you know will have someone cheat on them at some time or other. Further, chances are that you’ve had someone cheat on you. Or when it comes to relationships and cheating, you were the one doing the cheating.

Make no mistake about it, a cheating spouse hurts like crazy. It hurts the person who’s being cheated on, and believe it or not, it hurts the cheater. The cheater has to hide what he’s doing, probably has to lie to keep it a secret and has to feel the guilt that goes with it.

Even if he or she doesn’t seem guilty, they probably secret feel guilty. When there are relationships and cheating occurs, that doesn’t mean the end of the relationship every time.

Cheating Spouse Again

You’ve been in a relationship and you’ve been cheated on, and you’ve gotten back together or you’ve never broken up. Can you really make it work now that the other person has cheated? How do you get over it? Will he cheat again?

It’s not easy to save these relationships, and cheating is something that can sometimes happen more than once. But if you can truly rebuild your trust in the other person, then you can stay together and be happy.

Do you know why the person cheated on you? That’s a very important consideration in whether you’ll be able to trust them not to cheat on you again. Were things not good in your relationship at the time, or was it just convenient and just “happened?” You should be able to have a calm discussion about these reasons.

If the reasons turn out to be things like he or she was simply bored that day and the opportunity came along, then you may have problems. If the other person can give no better reasons for hurting you that way, you may want to consider whether you really can forgive them to be happy. It won’t be easy.

Cheating Spouse Undervalued

If you were having problems, then at least the other person may have thought that the relationship was going to end anyway. They might have felt ignored or undervalued. This is not to give them a good excuse for cheating—they were wrong. But it can help you to understand what they were thinking at the time and you can work on the problems together.

Relationships and cheating are a curious mixture, with some couples able to move on quite well after the devastation of an affair. Sometimes, though, the person who was cheating on can’t get over it. To stay in the relationship when there’s no trust there, and he or she fears that the other will cheat at any time, can be a miserable thing to do.

The constant suspicions can make you miserable, and can make the other person feel under a microscope 24/7. You have to decide to trust the person not to hurt you again, and letting go of the fear, even though it can be very hard to do in relationships and cheating situations, can go a long way toward helping you when coping with breakup caused by a cheating spouse.

Breaking Up



Few situations in life are a huge struggle and one of them is breaking up after you've fouled up big time! So what did you do? Did you cheat? Were you neglectful? Is it possible you were selfish? Could it be that you are just unlucky? The questions could go on. Whichever or whatever you did, if you seriously want to get girl back, you're going to have to sort yourself out after breaking up!

It's no doubt going to be tough for you, but I'm going to suggest something counter-intuitive: leave her alone! Give her some time to herself. You never know, she might well realize that she misses you and agrees to starting up the relationship again all on her own. Don't dismiss this possibility, even if all looks lost right now, equally don't cling to it as a possibility. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't it doesn't!

Breaking Up Needs Perspective

However, if what you need to get girl back is a much more direct and hands on approach then again, take some time out and use that time to get your head straight. By default, you give her some time to think also and put the whole thing into much needed perspective.

So, find your friends and spend time with them. Make sure you're not pestering her with emails and texts and accidentally trying to bump into her in the places where you know she hangs out. This will only back fire on you and ruin your chances of getting her back, because she'll only become annoyed with you.

If you neglected her, missed her birthday, hardly ever took her out, then you need to seriously look at that behavior. No girl worth her salt is going to put up with such behavior. A girl wants and needs, to be taken out and made a fuss of. She needs to know that you want to be with her for more than the obvious. If you fail to show her that, then she will walk and find a guy who can show her that.

Breaking Up Means Looking Sharp

If all that you did was hang around with your friends and ignored her wishes, then again, you're going to have to understand that this is not the way to treat a girl. If you're sure that you want a girlfriend then it's time to fix up, look good and look sharp! Start acting like she's important to you.

To get girl back you now need to show her that you have understood her needs and you are ready and prepared to meet those needs. Don't mess up and try and get her back under false pretenses. It won't work for long and maybe after breaking up the next time, she'll be gone for good.

Break Up Advice for Guys



Are you planning to dump your girlfriend? How do you end the relationship and still look like a gentleman? Here is some break up advice for guys.

Prepare her ahead of time. Drop hints that you aren’t satisfied with your relationship. Have “relationship talks” or just ask leading questions from time to time. Stop spending as much time with her. And, tone down the spending. If you buy her an expensive piece of jewelry and then dump her, she won’t know what to think.

Make sure she’s the first to know you’re calling it quits. If she finds out from your friends (or worse, her friends) that you’re moving on, she’ll hate you forever. Be honest with her and tell her that you love her, but you are not any longer in love with her.

Find a neutral place to break up. She shouldn’t have to live with the break up every day at her house. And, when you break up at your place, you are shifting the power dynamic in your favor. So, when at all possible, break the news some place neutral.

Break Up Advice About Text Messages

The next piece of breakup advice is to be a man and end it in person. Remember, Brittney Spears once called a relationship off by text message. Don’t be a Brittney! You owe it to her to tell her that you don’t want to see her any longer. You have to be there for her one last time.

Don’t complicate things. Tell her directly that you don’t want to see her. You should be prepared to tell her why because she will ask. But, don’t feel you have to relive the entire relationship through the break up process.

It goes without say that you should take care to observe the following signs which indicate you will feel bad without this girlfriend in your life.

How would not having this person in my life change my life? How would that feel?

Do I feel tense, anxious or agitated in response to the absence of this person?

do the emotions you feel when you consider letting go remind you of past feelings and reactions?

If so, these may be signs that you need to look deeper into yourself before you start to apply the break up advice.

Let her into your world. If you can make her see your perspective on things, she is likely to be able to cope with the break up afterwards better.

My next piece of breakup advice is if you want to leave, leave. It is likely that she will ask you to reconsider. She may do this at the time you break up or she may do it through texts, calls, and in person meetings afterwards. (Or, she may do both.) Remember that things aren’t going to change if you get back together. There’s a reason you want to break up. So, stick with it.

Break Up Advice About Timing

Time it right. Okay, there’s never going to be a perfect time to dump someone. But there are times that are worse than others. If you dump her before a major holiday (Christmas, Valentine’s, Birthday, Anniversary), you are going to look like you just didn’t want to buy a gift. Also, be sensitive to other stress issues in her life. Don’t dump her the week before final exams or right after her granddad has gone into the hospital for triple bypass surgery. Make every effort to stay with her for another couple of weeks.

She’s going to cry. Girls cry very often, and especially when there are emotions involved. So, have some tissues ready when you break the news. Be prepared for her to cry and don’t get too emotional about it yourself.

Remember, it is going to be tough on her when you call it quits. That is why you should follow the break up advice in this article.

Breakup Advice For Breaking Up With Your Boyfriend



If you are tired of your guy but don’t know how to move on without breaking his heart then this breakup advice is for you. This breakup advice will tell you how to break up with your boyfriend and come out a winner.

First of all, you should send your boyfriend signals ahead of time. Don’t just drop it on him all of a sudden. Ask him questions like “Are you sure you want to be together?” and “Do you find other girls attractive?” Let him know that there are other girls who would be happy to date him even if you are no longer available for him.

Point out when girls flirt with him. If you know someone who seems to have a crush on him, let him know. Tell him that he’s the kind of guy that any girl would be lucky to have as a boyfriend. Basically, start preparing him for the world after you.

Breakup Advice Is About Timing

The next step in how to break up with your boyfriend is to find a time and place to do it. There are places that are really bad. For instance, never break up when one of you is driving a car. That could be dangerous!

Also, don’t break up with him after some “dramatic event.” For instance, don’t give him the excuse that he was dancing with another girl at a party. Don’t make it seem like it is his fault. That’s because he will think that if he fixes what you are mad about, he will get you back. You want to let him know that your decision is well though out, that it is about what you want for your life, and that it is really over.

You have to consider his personality when you decide where to break up. For instance, do you want a public or private place? If he’s sensitive, a private place may be nicer, but if he’s going to throw a scene, a public place may temper his dramatics. Sometimes, a quiet restaurant where tears or tantrums would be out of place is the best bet.

Breakup Advice Is About Location

If you are going to break up at one of your homes, consider which one would be best. If you break up at his place, you will be able to walk away when you’ve said your piece. If you break up at your place, it may be hard to get him to go.

Be prepared to give him all of his stuff back and ask him to give you your things. This is a concrete signal to him that the relationship really is over.

The next step in how to break up with your boyfriend is to cut off all communication for a specified period of time. Don’t call him, send him texts, or make excuses to run into him. And, don’t accept his calls or texts either. Make it clear that you need a period to cool down before you can be friends again.

Don’t fool yourself that by following these steps, a boyfriend who loves you will take the break up easily. But, these things will help him adjust to life after you. This breakup advice will work for you if you want to break up with your boyfriend

Relationship Counseling



Men that find that they are coping with breakup but are no longer in love with their girlfriends could benefit from relationship counseling. They don’t want to hurt her, but they don’t want to be with her either. If this describes your situation, here’s some relationship counseling that will go a long way to aiding you while you are coping with breakup.

Relationship counseling indicates that coping with breakup is difficult, but it important to know that your efforts will eventually pay off if you do the work.

For example, some of the reasons coping with breakup is difficult include the grief process, which is inherently hard, the tendency to idealize the person or relationship. happily, you can simplify the task of stabilizing your life by focusing on the here and now, acknowledge the power of the past and changing what you can and disengaging from the rest.

In the beginning you should start by preparing her a couple of weeks ahead of time. Boost her ego by telling her that she’s lucky that she’s so pretty because lots of guys would fall for her. Also, pose relationship questions that will make her think about where you two are heading. Say, “can you see us together for the long haul.” If she says yes, gently say that you can’t. Introducing these types of questions and statements into the conversation ahead of time will mentally prepare her for the break up.

Relationship Counseling Helps With The Hard Part

But at some point, you will have to cross the line and actually tell her that you don’t want to see her any longer. This is the hard part of how to break up with your girlfriend.

The most important part is choosing the location. Don’t do it when one of you is driving because that could lead to a dangerous situation.

Is your girlfriend likely to make a scene when you break up? Is she more likely or less likely to make a scene if other people are around? Take these factors into consideration when choosing the location.

For instance, if she’s likely to cry then ask her to meet you at a busy restaurant. She’s less likely to burst into tears in front of lots of people.

But, if she’s the type to throw a glass of water at you, you probably don’t want to be embarrassed in front of a lot of people. Maybe you should do it in less public setting.

Your house or hers, that is the question. If you do it at her house, you can leave immediately after the break up rather than spending lots of time analyzing what went wrong. However, she may associate things in the house with the break up and since she has to live there, it may make her sad to have broken up at home.

Relationship Counseling Answers The Questions

The next question in how to break up with your girlfriend is what to say. While they are tired lines “it’s not you, it’s me” is really somewhat comforting. If you are leaving her for another lady, let her know – don’t make her find out for someone else. If you want to remain friends, suggest a cooling off period where you don’t contact each other for a month so that when you do talk, the emotions have blown over.

Finally, you have to be committed to the break up ahead of time, or else you’ll look like a fool. If you are going to let her talk you back into dating, you might as well have not broken up.

You should know that unless the two of you have been drifting apart for some time, the likelihood is that you will break her heart when you break it off. You don’t want to hurt her. But, ultimately, a relationship has to be a two way street. If you are not in love with her any longer, you owe it to her to let her find someone who can fall in love with her.

Take a leap of faith, so to speak, and understand that relationship counseling for coping with breakup is worth the time and effort it takes to achieve positive results.

Divorce Help



Can you tell if you need divorce help? Have you made a mistake by getting married to this partner? You are the only one who can tell if you need divorce help, and you are the only one who can determine the right emotional path. As you try to cope with the break up the only goal you desire is to make the other decision. Obviously, there are warning signs that you need divorce help, but it takes a clear eye to spot the signs

Here are several signs that can help you decide if you need divorce help:

Prolonged fatigue that leaves you feeling restless, a low energy level or, on the other hand, sleeping for consistently long periods of time during the day and night.

An inability to slow down, which means you in a state of mania or hyperactivity producing frenzied activity that distracts you from emotions and thoughts.

You experience the inability to successfully navigate and maintain friendships and other relationships without feeling extreme negativity or depression regardless of outside circumstances and situations.

You feel a large sense of self-blame, self-doubt or guilt. This is often accompanied by decreasing self-esteem and self-direction.

Divorce Help is Not Foolproof

Ultimately there is no foolproof way to determine if your partner is exactly the correct one to spend your life with day in and day out. The only thing you can figure out if you’re in the right relationship at the time. Things can change, but for right now you can look around and see if this is the right place to be.

You should ask yourself many questions to determine out if this relationship is right for you today. Start with, are you happy? You won’t be skipping and hopping around joyfully every second, it goes with saying, but generally you should feel pleased to be with that person.

You may have a doubt now and then or a bad feeling, but if your feelings toward the person and the relationship are mostly positive, then you could be in a great relationship. Don’t let the odd doubt or strange feeling make you wonder if you’ve made a mistake.

When you do feel doubt or feel sad, why do you? Is it because you’re wondering about a specific other person and thinking that you might be with them instead? Or are they just general thoughts about the possibilities you might be missing if you weren’t in this relationship?

Everyone thinks things like that from time to time. But if you’re preoccupied by “what ifs” and “if only” thoughts, you might not be in the right relationship after all.

Divorce Help To Find Safety

Do you feel completely safe in the relationship? This applies to feeling physically safe, as in your partner would never hit or abuse you. And it also applies to feeling emotionally safe. You feel that they would not want to hurt you for the world.

Do you feel safe from the threat coping with breakup? Or do you worry about your partner cheating often, especially in a long distance relationship? If you spend a lot of your time in the relationship wondering if the other person is capable of cheating, then you might not be with the right person.

If you think the person is cheating, then you’re spending a lot of time being suspicious and questioning his or her motives. That’s no way to spend your days. You need to figure out if your doubts are reasonable.

It is understandable that you want things to work out in the marriage, but it is just possible that divorce help can push you to a more positive place. It helps, of course, to know when you are actually moving into a more positive place, so here are some signs to look for as you journey along in your emotional path:

You begin to feel calmer and more accepting of yourself and your situation.

Your concentration improves and you have a sharper focus.

You begin to think about a new career or new friendship commitments.

If these occurrences began to appear on your life’s horizon, then you can feel confident that the divorce help is working in your favor

Would that person actually cheat or do you think those things from your own insecurities? If you really don’t trust the other person, you shouldn’t be in a relationship with them. That will only serve to make you miserable and suspicious, and can end badly for both of you.

It is important that you feel you feel special. If you feel like you’re constantly trying to attract the other person’s attention and affection, you might look for someone else immediately. You may need divorce help if you discover that you are not the number one attraction in their life.

Marriage Problems



It is no wonder that marriage problems can force you into a position where the problems associated with coping with breakup can cause you many sleepless nights. In addition, you are then confronted with more than one mind bending possibility. The sheer amount of time you have invested in your partnership makes it problematic to say it is over; the stark fact is that there is no easy way to go about coping with breakup, and it is certainly never easy to speak the word goodbye. Marriage problems are fraught with peril, which is always the case with a break up, but it especially true after an extended period of togetherness. Still, coping with breakup as a result of marriage problems can offer an emotional learning curve that can often illuminate when it really is time to call a halt to the problems in the relationship and move on to the next best thing in your life. Granted the effort to lean how and when to end your relationship can be stressful, but it can also be liberating since the marriage problems can be put behind you and your partner.

Since it is important to discover the negative impact these marriage problems are having on you, here are three signs that coping with breakup are robbing you of your joy:

An exaggerated since of guilt, self blame, self-doubt; these negative feelings are often accompanied by diminished self-esteem and self worth.

An inability to maintain friendships and other relationships outside the marriage problems.

Protracted inability to assert yourself or a sense of being overwhelmed by fears and doubts.

Marriage Problems Can Be Worked Out

If you really love the person you’re with, you might wonder when to end a relationship and why. You might think that just because you love him or her, you should stay and work things out. And very often it is worth a try.

Many people give up on their relationships before they’ve really tried to fix them. Because it’s difficult, they throw in the towel instead of working on their problems. This is unfortunate, because many people could probably be happy together if only they weren’t afraid to try.

And other people have problem after problem and keeping working hard when most people think they should just give up. It’s as if these people are gluttons for punishment. Their partner keeps cheating on them and they keep taking him back. Or their partner keeps making other mistakes and letting them down.

It seems they don’t know when to end a relationship. But usually it’s that they’re simply afraid of being alone and moving on.

Marriage Problems are Obvious

There are obvious situations that should tell you when to end a relationship. If your partner is abusive, it’s time to get out, no excuses. If you don’t feel safe, even down to feeling like you’ll have something to eat and be secure, then you should move on.

Other things are less sure. If your partner has cheated, for instance, does that always mean it’s time to leave? Some people can get past one mistake like that. They sometimes end up with a stronger relationship after the affair.

But more often they really never get past the betrayal. Even if it never happens again, the one who was cheated on can’t let go of the hurt. And the one who cheated will eventually get tired of the suspicion and guilt.

Marriage Problems Could Indicate Cheating

If there has been cheating in your relationship, it’s not easy to decide if it should end. You should really talk about everything involved. From trust to fear of it happening again, it should all be put on the table in an honest discussion.

How about if you feel like cheating? If you have a really strong desire to be with someone else, should you end it? These types of feelings are natural. You can even have fantasies about other people. But if you’re constantly thinking that you’d be better of with someone else, maybe you really would be.

If you love your partner and you’ve tried different ways of working it out, step back. How have you really tried? Of course, there is the issue of time and the length of the issues mean a lot when deciding to end a relationship and the end isn’t always easy to see. However, given that you have made every possible effort in regards to coping with breakup, it many very well be appropriate to deal bluntly with your marriage problems sooner rather than later.

Coping With Breakup: Love Relationship



You might think it’s too bad you can’t take a class called Love Relationship. There is math, physics, literature and tons of classes, but a class on love relationship is something that could help everyone coping with breakup. Fortunately, you have the skills already to save your partnership and make it better without needing a course in coping with breakup: love relationship.

Most relationships, no matter what happens, can be saved. There are a few relationships that shouldn’t be saved, like those that are abusive or really miserable. But most others have the potential to be fixed. That should be lesson number in any relationships 101 class.

The problem is, people give up too soon. They’re angry, hurt, upset and it just seems easiest to get out of the situation that made them that way. It’s all too easy to focus only on what’s happening now, and not the past.

Coping With Breakup: Love Relationship At A Good Point

If the relationship was good at one point, and most were or no one would have stayed in it very long, then it really can be that way again. But people have to look past the anger and the problems that are happening now, and remember the breaking up before those good times. That’s the only way they’ll even want to try to use relationship counseling theory to save the couple.

To cause further problems, often one person is ready to work hard at saving the relationship. But the other person won’t look past the bad to remember the good. That person is ready to chuck it all away. And can only person save a love relationship?

Sometimes one person can do it, but it’s not easy. It’s hard to stay positive and hopeful when your boyfriend of girlfriend doesn’t act or feel the same. It can start to feel like you’re fighting a losing battle.

Relationships 101 lesson #2: Keep fighting the battle, because even if the relationship doesn’t heal, it will make you a better person. That’s because the things you’ll do to try to save the relationship are simply good for you, and good for the other person, too.

Coping With Breakup: Love Relationship as Behavior

It’s very important to remember the way you behaved with the relationship was new and going strong. Compare that to how you behave with that person now. And turn things around by acting the way you used to, and doing the things you used to.

Strive to be polite again just as you were in the beginning. Be thoughtful and be a good friend to the person whenever you can, even if you’re not going to get anything out of it. Don’t beg them to come back, tell them they need to come back, or threaten what will happen if they don’t come back.

When faced with someone acting like that, would you want to be with that person again? Tell yourself that you’ll survive no matter what happens, but do your very best to show them the person they want to be with again. As you are coping with breakup, be the best you can be no matter what is the best relationship is for you.
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