Coping With Breakup By Becoming Less Rigid

My girlfriend told me that the reason for my trouble coping with breakup is that I had become too rigid, too set in my ways. So she split and I was left wondering what I could do to get my ex-girlfriend back. I was looking for a way to overcome her objections, to overcome the notion that I am set in my ways, that I have a restricted point of view on everything. I decided she was right, so I began looking around for a systematic way of freeing up my mind. In short, I was looking for a way of coping with breakup that would lead to getting my ex-girlfriend back.

Enter the Poet As a Way Of Coping With Breakup

A poet friend of mine told me about a mountain that was far, far away and that on the top of this mountain, there lived four tribes. Each tribe had a definite way of seeing reality. It was said that if you visited and studied the philosophy of each tribe it would open you to new ways of thinking. This sounded like just what I was looking for so I set out to climb the mountain. To my amazement, the four tribes were on the mountaintop and they each held a particular view of the world.

The first tribe I visited was the Old Ones. The Old Ones thought that the way to know the world and the things in it was simply to find out what a thing is. One did this by comparing things. Some things were similar and some dissimilar. One knew the poisonous plants by the design of their leave and they knew the stars by the patterns they made in the night sky.

Tribal Wisdom Teaches Me Coping With Breakup

The second tribe was the hammerheads. They came down from the Nordic Mountains, carrying with them instruments for measuring things. They measured the shape and weight of rocks and trees and the distances between them. They set about recording the cause and effect of all things. This sometimes took the form of stimulus response, particularly where poetry was concerned. They also used cause and effect to analyze the motivation of characters.

The third tribe was the surfers. They loved surfing over the ocean in search of new landscapes, new reflections of sun and moon, new languages and new ways of conducting business. When they viewed art, they were relativist. Anyway, this tribe valued conflict because they thought it could lead to further investigation. This tribe valued change and recognition that there were different points of view on any subject or problem.

The fourth tribe was the webbed ones. They believed that all things were connected, like the connections in a great web, and complete like a circle. It was silly to look for one cause as the hammerheads had done. There were many relationships to discover. When you discovered those then you would have knowledge. This tribe believed in integration, connections, and the fitting together of the parts and the whole.

Learning Coping With Breakup From the Masters

I stayed on this mountain top and listened to the wise sayings of their philosophers, scientists and artists and when I was ready I came down from the mountain top and re-entered my old word. And immediately I could see my limitation. I had restricted myself to a single vision. Now I could see things from the vantage point of each tribe. I loved moving from one tribe to another and challenging each tribe to reinterpret the world again and again.

Later, I discovered that a great philosopher writing in the forties had systematized these world views. He wrote books on heavy duty subjects like epistemology (ways of knowing), metaphysics (describing reality) aesthetics (defining art) and rhetoric (ways of organizing communication) He said that four lamps were better to light the world than one. But I began thinking: if there could be four distinct ways of describing reality, why could there not be more?

The first thing I did was to find my ex-girlfriend. After all, she was the one who first made me aware that I was operating from a single point of view. When we met, she was amazed at how I had changed and she wanted to take a trip to the mountain top. We would go together. And so we did. We immersed ourselves in the four world views and set about exploring the mountain top. And so this became a way of coping with breakup as I try to get my ex-girlfriend back.

Coping With Breakup As You Try To Leave Your Boyfriend

Coping With Breakup

Well, there may come a time, while coping with breakup, when you feel the need to get out of a relationship and you begin wondering how to leave your lover. The first thing you should do is to take an inventory and get clear images in your mind of why you want to leave your lover. You must do this because if you go into your act half baked, you just may be talked out of leaving your lover. You must be of firm mind while coping with breakup and stay focused on how to leave your lover.

Get clear images in your mind of the negatives that spell terminal for your relationship. Make these objections concrete. Visualize an image, a movie of the mind if you will. See your soon-to- be ex doing the objectionable things: Does he snore? Must you continually put logs in your ears to muffle the sound? Do you dream of sawmills and hog snorts?

Coping With Breakup And The Gaseous One

Does he mistake his gas attacks for orgasms? And what has he been eating? Something has died in-side of him and its coming back to life--a vampire sulfide rising from the bowels of my soon-to-be ex-beloved. Get these images firmly planted in mind. This is the first step in preparing your performance of how to dump your boyfriend.

Does he fall into his lumberjack sleep immediately after his once-a-month orgasm? Or does he beg for certain favors before offering you one iota of foreplay? Does he pick his nose? Throw the buggers (hardened snot) on your recently acquired Oriental rug? Does he make soupy, slurpy sounds when he eats, like the pre-teen sucking on the last drops of a chocolate milkshake?

Is he scale challenged at 400 plus? Does his mounds of flesh have mounds? Do you have to send out an SOS to find his penis? Did he remember to take his Viagra? These and other questions should occur to you. Line up these objections so that if he launches a defense you will not even have to think of something to say. You will know what to say...and in the right sequence.

Visualize his delighting in inflicting you with by-products of his filth. Hear his burps, gurgles, wheezing coughs, gags and gargles. Intensify the images. That's it. You have the idea now. Just work on your visualization powers. When you have done the practice as suggested, you will be on your way to knowing and how to dump your boyfriend.

Coping With Breakup While Dumping Your Boyfriend During Dinner

Offer to take him to a nice restaurant. The more posh the better. It is important that you pay the bill, so save up. This is insurance. It is less likely that he will lose control of his temper in an environment like this. After you have finished your dinner, had desert and are sipping your after-dinner drink, pop your declaration: When he objects, begin to list all his offenses keeping everything in a hushed tone.

By your paying the tab, you establish your independence. You are not a cuddly bunny, nor are you a blond bimbo cared for by your sugar daddy. If you maintain your cool, you may not have to cite his obnoxious behavior. Remember, all that listing of negatives is insurance.

A good line is to lean across the table and say in the most sincere tone you can muster: I love you, but I am not in-love with you. How can this be rebutted? Who can object to being loved? The guy cannot very well object to this; moreover, he cannot demand that you fall in love with him. What kind of love would that be? This is a way to dump your boyfriend.

If you want it all to go smoothly, then do some practicing before a mirror prior to your final dining. You can simulate a cheerful face, a sad face, a business face…any face you like except a mocking face. You want no put downs. You will not use your negative list unless it is absolutely necessary. These, then, while coping with breakup, are ways to dump your boyfriend. Go to it.

Coping with Breakup: The Magic of Making Up

Coping with Breakup

The Magic Of Making Up




Coping with breakup is never easy, but The Magic Of Making Up provides workable solutions for the heartbreak of not being able to rescue your relationship with a return phone call from your Ex, which is an emotional tragedy almost everyone has gone through from time to time. If you are in such a painful situation, and you would do almost anything have your beloved call you back, there is hope! Naturally, there is no sure method of making another person do what you want them to do all the time, but there certainly are techniques you can use to increase the possibility of getting a return phone call from your Ex.

Right now, through your pain and tears, you are probably asking if there are 'magic' words available to you that can help you encourage your Ex to return your phone calls. As hard as it may be to believe right now, there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your Ex feel almost compelled to return your call. It's not as difficult as you think it is, and you will congratulate yourself for having taken such a positive step in your relationship.

Very interesting, don't you think?...

The Magic Of Making Up

I am going to share this information with you because this is one of the major and most immediate questions broken-hearted people just like you--people who are are trying to put their relationships back together--ask when they find themselves alone and in great need of the reassuring voice of their lover.

Right now, you want an answer to the burning question..."How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"

HOWEVER...

BE CAREFUL!

While The Magic Of Making Up lays out an honest strategy that can be put into action as soon as you dial your Ex's phone number, if you use this very effective technique without an 'overall' plan or strategy...you could easily damage your precious relationship more than if your lover never returned your phone call at all.

What NOT to Say--Ever!

Before we get into the actual words, let's go over what message rarely, IF EVER, works,

and worse...

Puts you in an TERRIBLE 'psychological' position.

These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD

The PLEAD is a message that sounds like this:

"John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

The EMERGENCY

"Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Now, can you clearly see what is wrong with both of those ultimately negative approaches? The PLEAD indicates a tome of desperation since it numbers the times you have called recently without getting a response, and this might make your Ex feel guilty for not having called sooner.

Curiosity and Self Interest Are Your Advantages

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are

*Curiosity

and

*Self Interest

And here's the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work the 'magic' that will positively motivate your Ex to return your phone call.

As earlier mentioned, curiosity and self interest are very powerful motivational interests. Don't you respond when you feel the tug of curiosity and self interest? Of course you do!

Let's look at what you can say to your Ex to produce a return phone call that works nearly EVERY TIME.

In a cheerful, friendly tone that invites a welcoming response, you could say:

"Hi Chuck. It's Mandy. It is important for me to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me as soon as you can so we can arrange for me to thank you in person."

It is easy to see that this approach uses BOTH curiosity and self interest!

Chuck will NOT be able to resist your strategy! He will almost surely ask himself, "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate so much that she wants to thank me in person?" More important, he will be thinking about you, and he will feel good because it is a skillfully upbeat message that suggests a very positive response.

Now...

Before you call you need to do the "Set Up"...which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing at all...but it needs to be something a person can believe.

But more importantly...

BE EXTRA CAREFUL!

Please have an underlying strategy as is lain out in the The Magic Of Making Up System BEFORE you call.

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back, you can do much more DAMAGE than good if you do not manage it correctly. More often than not, the chances of getting a return phone call from your Ex will depend on how well you organize your thoughts and plans BEFORE YOU CALL. Do not make the mistake of calling your Ex while your mind is clouded by suffering or anger. These negative feelings will show in your voice and produce exactly the opposite effect you want to have on your Ex.

Do not underestimate the power of the underlying strategy if you want to produce a positive response.

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call. You really do want to increase your chances of having your Ex return your phone call as much as possible, so a sensible, calm approach is the one you want to use in this delicate situation.

In addition to the underlying strategy revealed in the The Magic Of Making Up, it is a very good idea to prepare yourself physically for your call. For example, you can listen to calming music, take a hot bath or engage in physical exercise such as walking or running. The idea is to increase your sense of joy and happiness before you make the call to your Ex. Your increased sense of happiness will certainly come through to your Ex in your voice tone and expand the welcoming message you will leave for your lover.

Does this make sense?

Have a plan that will produce the result you want, and if you want to greatly increase the chances that you can rescue your relationship with a return phone call from your Ex, then use the strategy in The Magic Of Making Up!