Begin Coping With Breakup

How do I begin coping with breakup? She had slammed the door in my face. But then I don’t blame her. She had said she only wanted to cuddle and I agreed, but when we woke I told her that I had taken her in her sleep. A lie, which I thought for a fatal second, made a good practical joke. She blew her stack and all the while I was screaming that it was a joke and that I loved her. She responded by ripping the TV out of the wall, the TV I had given her. She screamed that she did not understand that type of love and I thought then I had made a fatal error. I had judged the surface of the person, not her deep self. Nevertheless, I kept wondering how to get her to love me again. I kept looking for the guaranteed words of encouragement after a breakup; I was looking for one thing: how do I begin coping with breakup?

The Magic Formula Of Coping With Breakup

After that fatal night I kept searching for how to get my ex-girlfriend to love me again. I considered my initial impressions of her: I thought she was a femme fatal. All her professors were in love with her, male and female alike. She loved bragging on how her married professors pledged to leave their wife and family to be with her. So I reasoned that with a femme fatal I had to be bold. I had good reason to take bold measures, for since she had joined our karate club, she had slept with practically all the members and at that time it meant all the male members. As a result, we all tried to kill one another when we practiced sparring. Let me tell you about this girl. She executed karate forms with a boa constrictor wrapped about her arm. She was in the nude. She was expert at yoga, horseback riding and conducting séances; not your typical 19 year old undergraduate political science major. An Army brat, she had had her share of military vintage. Her father, a military man had a nice spread on the coast of Mississippi and when she invited me there she assigned me to the wildest, most dangerous horses. One named Brandy tried running me into a tree.

Taking a train from Tuscaloosa, Alabama to New Orleans, we encountered some problems along the way. The train broke down, delaying our arrival time. This gave her time to rendezvous with several Brown University rugby players along the way. When we got to New Orleans, she stayed up all night trying to seduce my friend who had provided us with abode. We enjoyed Mardi Gras and then returned to Tuscaloosa. What did she get out of the trip? A place to take her lovers...that’s what. Later, one of her lovers confessed to me in a crowded bar that she had taken him to New Orleans and she, discovering that he was impotent, slapped his genitals with ice. He was then able to perform. How to get her to love me again? She and I used to go to parties and put on mock fights. In these social arenas, we would throw one another, use arm locks and kick one another to the head. On Valentine’s Day, I gave her what looked like a box of chocolate, but when she opened it, she discovered I had given her a hunting knife. She chased me around the apartment with it.

Coping With Breakup Years Later

Years later I found she had joined the FBI and was doing quite well, but I keep wondering how to get my ex girlfriend back and so since she was so extreme, I went for extreme measures: I entered karate tournaments, hoping she would show up and I went to Priestess Miriam in New Orleans and had a Voodoo reading. I hired a private eye to track her, but she made the PI and beat him up. I tried to infiltrate the FBI and I got beaten up. I visited snake farms, hoping I would meet her by chance. After all she was attracted to serpents. I visited horse shows, knowing she may be there to show her horses. Perhaps I would meet Bandy again. Perhaps I would ride him and amaze her with my practiced skills. Perhaps we would get back together. Perhaps I would have discovered the secret magic of coping with breakup.